Honey's NOTEBOOK......... 4

My head went blank even though I almost laughed. My heart began to beat fast, it obviously was pumping more than enough blood. My tongue went dry. I knew I was in a mess. Quickly I remembered my creator, God and my mother who always tells me to be very careful but I knew I was in this alone.

I got up and tried to run out of the living room but he held my hand an pushed me to the floor. I almost hit my head on the wall, "Narrow Escape" I thought. I was shaking all over, sweating profusely but determined not to cry. The mad dog of last night suddenly turned into a new-born puppy. *not funny*. This guy looked at me with so much rage, then it dawned on me that it was time for revenge.

The erection was still there, almost ripping off his pyjamas. I was at his mercy and so I had to plead. I pleaded with him but that wasn't working. So I decided to scream because the other two didn't know what was happening. I later got to know that my friend heard me scream but the other guy told her we were playing and it was nothing to worry about.

He threatened that if I screamed again, he would kill me and no one would know. For some seconds, I thought about it and really it would have been difficult to trace my body because only the friend I came with knew where I was. He became a bit distracted and so I ran into the room to pick up my bag. He followed me and locked the door. *stupid*

Suddenly, I felt this heat on my face. I was so nervous and confused. I felt as though my end had come, more like the whole world came crashing down on me. Then he began to chase me around the room. As I continued the 'race', I kept praying to God to save me from this mess. Too bad, he finally caught up with me and threw me to the bed. He began to struggle with my jeans but I determined not to give up the fight. This went on for some minutes because the jeans was really skinny. I was very afraid and did not stop pleading but I told myself I wasn't going to cry so he wouldn't know how weak and destabilized I was.

When the jeans wasn't working out, I was glad he would let me go but I became sad when I peeped and saw that the 'electrocuted pole' would still not take a break. Before I could gather my thoughts together, he pounced on my lips and began to kiss me like a hungry lion. Now, this was just a confirmation that he wasn't my kind of man. It was really disgusting and all I could think of were the warnings of my mother. He let me go after a little while.

This was and still is the most horrible and terrifying day of my life. I wanted to spit in his face but I changed my mind. The 'pole' was finally saved from the deadly 'electrocution' and I did not want a repetition. So I thanked him like he just wrote me a cheque of 1million naira.

I searched for my friend and eventually found her. I told her we had to leave immediately. She asked if I was alright and of course I said yes because the beast in human form was standing right behind me. He insisted he dropped us off. I did not argue and was mute throughout the journey.

It has taken me almost four years to put myself together and let this out. What is painful isn't that he kissed my adorable lips but that he forced himself on me. I shouldn't have trusted him enough to sleep at his place. I know I was gullible but I'm wiser and stronger now. I've seen him twice after the incident. First, it was at a filling station but he didn't notice me and second, at a bar where me and my boyfriend came to hang out. He saw me this time and I felt like giving him a hot slap but I did not want to cause a scene. I really do not want to see him ever again.

To all ladies who have at one time been raped, I understand your pain even though mine isn't as severe but I tell you, it is really traumatic. It is a huge dent on my emotions. Little wonder, Rihanna's 'Man Down' appeals to me.... Rape is a very serious offense and is punishable by the law. One of the ways of getting over it is SPEAKING OUT! 

Honey Jar

Read Chapters 1, 2 and 3